poetry from another dimension

Archive for September, 2010

song for the unknown mystic

the inquisition is over
your capacity for holy speech
has been
restored
the karmic payment—-
the potato famine
received,
acknowledged,
and accepted
nuns and priests
mystics and saints
they all pulsed
in your blood
but you could not eat
and you could not express their holiness
for fear
that you might be seen
or heard

unsung poetess
lovers of roses
and cups of tea
we bless you and wish
for your endless fulfillment
may your expansion be endless
your virtue a fuel for love
and your beauty shine forth
for the delight of those
around you
© 2010 exitsbyalice


windy day

a cosmic joke it is
a little naive i was
seeking some light reading
ha ha
it’s a disguise

after the roof blew off
and the walls caved in
and i dusted off the honda
and inspected her tires
in a pool of rubble
there rested

one tiny jewel box
no bigger than
the sound of a word
i opened it
and full it was
vast rainstorms
and gales of laughter
i thought
you might
like
to have it


LUCKY STAR

LUCKY STAR

you are lucky!
said the angel from Las Vegas
the day after
the mayan fire ceremony,
in the strip mall,
under the harvest moon,
on the solstice
as Jupiter
beaconed, or maybe beckoned

i don’t know

and this is is true story, whatever that means

I shuffled the cards
(to make sure there was no cheating)
and she dealt my hand
Nevada
who knew?
do i need to tell you?
she was wearing blue cowboy boots
a blue hat
and a leopard print bra
gold hair and alabaster skin

I didn’t take her for an angel
at least, not at first
nor did I understand the game
most of the angels
I’ve met
have been african american males
and a few white guys too
and they show up when I’ve gotten myself
haplessly tangled in my leash
(or maybe hopelessly)
and need extricating
they say little, and disappear
but anyway
here I was
in the presence of my first female angel
an etheric cowgirl
who used this simple word “lucky”
what me lucky?

I wondered
“I am too, she said
lucky that is, being from Las Vegas
she paused
it was important”
okay, so I was broke, but
i had to admit
I’d had amazing and fascinating opportunities
things were never boring
in my own way
i was rich beyond measure

our meeting ended
I headed home,
pondering my luck

there it was, organic broccoli
and acorn squash
on sale (yum)
although
they weren’t what i wanted
she also said I had to meditate on that
what i wanted
i hate that instruction
surprises are so much more fun
i skipped the sale
and bought the stuff of guacamole
almost in defiance of the opportunity cast upon me
i want guacamole!
at home i found a taste for broccoli
next time, i say surprise me
but wait, does that mean that I want will never satisfy me?
now there’s a belief worth abandoning, and quickly.

seeking then, the definition for lucky, of course
expecting a thousands ways to say
“abundant, receiving of lots of good things,
blessings” and so forth
is that what it said?
um, no
“occurring by chance” well, that wasn’t what i wanted
who wants to live in a world where good things come only by chance.
i want my surprises to be deliberately crafted by a loving universe
kind of like a special birthday cake just for you or should i say, me;
regardless of how my marriage turned out, I have to say,
that cake was sure delicious

anyway
i kept reading
“having or bringing good fortune” okay
now we are getting somewhere
good fortune

did I quit while I was ahead?
no
what if there is something better
you know, a better way to say it
the fledging writer in me wanted
a sparkling word, so
i kept reading

“likely to bring good luck”
well i hoped that I brought good luck to those around me
but having reclaimed my selfishness
I wanted something for me
i kept reading

a style magazine (no), the name of a village in slovakia (no), the name of a japanese baseball mascot (no)
i kept reading

“the slave to Pozzo in Beckett’s play, Waiting for Godot”
this Lucky, has no free will
whether this is a good
or bad thing
depends upon who is reading
how odd
this juxtaposition of  that which appears
auspicious, “good fortune”
and that which appears,

undesirable, “slavery”
there are some who interpret Lucky’s slavery as, well, lucky

he doesn’t have to choose
he doesn’t have to evolve
easy
but i wonder
is he happy?
is that too much to ask?

this play waiting for godot
who the heck knows what it’s about
whatever you want it to be about,
I suppose

i didn’t find what i was looking for, but i know all about the arbitrariness of lucky

that cowgirl, the angel
she tipped her blue hat and
dealt out the hand I had selected
I had selected
I HAD SELECTED
in pairs
Love/expectation
abundance/restriction
abundance! and then the restriction distracted me
I turned back to abundance again
only to find her scooping up the cards
away it went

Dazzled by love and then
she pointed at the expectations
and said
“you ought to look at this” shaking her head
taking my eyes away from the cards I thought about
what I was expecting
(but wait a minute…what about love?)
as I turned my eyes
back to the cards she scooped them up
and put them away
on to the next thing
(but wait a minute, what was that card about love?)

“remember? Quit while you are ahead” the etheric voice said through the ceiling vent.

and if you figure out what that means, let me know
when are you ahead anyway
everything,
everything
everything
is a gamble, isn’t it?
there is no sure thing

“think with your heart and not with your head” she said
I was tempted to tell her
I’d heard that before
as a matter of fact it was tattooed on my ass
but then humility won out
and i kept my mouth shut

the angel tipped her hat
and blew me a kiss
as she walked out the door of the office
into a desert
teeming with life
I saw it through the door

cacti and creatures that thrive in a land
with no water
they never say
“there is no water here, let’s keep moving”
or
“who builds a giant gambling casino in the middle of the desert?”
or
“I’ll stick with the rice a roni – door number 2”
are they fortunate, or unfortunate
those creatures in the desert
those folks trapped in the swirl of the
endless slot machine game
those folks with a years supply of rice a roni

well, okay, so maybe they are doing okay
they’ve adapted
to their circumstance
like the slave Lucky in the story
he doesn’t have to evolve
tied to his fate
no conscious evolution
that’s it he doesn’t HAVE TO evolve
he’s found the easy way out

i remember

days before the last time i fell
in love
i kept hearing
the words
“after nine days i let the horse run free
cause the desert had turned to sea”
aaaaah
ocean

MAYBE the desert can turn to the ocean
sometimes

if you wait long enough

but maybe it won’t
but maybe
had they left the desert
they would have
would have arrived
at the ocean
sooner

© 2010 exitsbyalice


there’s not a lot of meat in this coconut

there’s not a lot of meat in this coconut

but who cares
the little bit there is
is sooooo sweet
it was worth all the
hacking and scraping
it took
to get inside of you

© 2010 exitsbyalice


bliss, this way

you ask me

what happened

where did you go?

there was that rabbit,

years ago

he held a sign

“wedded bliss,

this way”

now that annoyed me

this man

trying to seduce me

in the guise

of a rabbit

it was not sexy in the least

and yet

for some reason

I married him anyway

down the rabbit hole, so they say

I followed him, thinking that

we had

somewhere to go

that would make us happy

we arrived at the entrance

a house, it was

i followed him across the threshold

he made himself scarce

I sought to amusement

by myself

in the meantime

there

on the table

a tiny book,

“The Laws of the Land”.

the book cried out,

“read me”

and so

I opened the book

and as i read the book

“The Laws of the Land”

grew large

and to contain them

I grew larger

until finally

there was no room left

in that tiny house

for the two of us

the rabbit returned

wondering,

where was his book?

and immediately realized

that the woman he married

no longer fit into the house

he had built

for her

and just as in the story

there were victimized lizard friends and

pebbles tossed in the windows

attempts to tame the giant

and reclaim what he felt was his

is was to no avail,

but

then

the pebbles

pelting my still delicate skin

turned to

milk less chocolate drops

and as I ate them

I began to shrink

so much so

that he couldn’t see me, anymore

I ran out the door

as fast as I could

“the first thing I’ve got to do,” I said to myself

as I wondered through the trees

(yes I mean wondered)

looking for the forest

“is grow back to my right size again;

and the second thing

is to find my way

into that lovely garden.

I think that will be the best plan”.

And then as I looked up,

there he was again

the white rabbit

smiling this time

holding out a paw of milk less chocolates

and a sign that said

“total bliss, infinite, unending, this way”

ah ha

and so I skipped the garden and followed him

back into the house.

as he hopped stridently

into the next room

i gazed at the table

where “The Laws of Land” once lay

and found in its place

an intricate design spelled out

in milk less chocolates

“stand on your head”.

so this is the way to bliss

i think to myself

and so

I do

and as I press down into the floor with my forearms

and reached up to the sky with my toes

it emerged

so this is bliss

just a glimpse

just enough

for my heart and my mind and my soul

to expand

my right foot

became stuck in the chimney

and my forearm jammed

against the window sill

the lizard and the rabbit returned

“oh no”

“what do we do with it”

“I don’t know”

they left

and in the silence of their departure

there was a hum

like a background sound

pulsating the walls of the house

vibrating the skin of the arms

and humming through the toes

on down through the crown of the head

and then

the

shrinking began in earnest this time

and quickly.

until once again

I found myself

sitting on the ground outside the house

bliss less

but with a bit of a clearer heart

i needed a new plan.

where was that lovely garden anyway

the garden of bliss

the rabbit came back

and another and another

and another

and they took their turns

coaxing me back into the house

or trying to anyway

and as I sat and watched them

it occurred to me

that it wasn’t about the

house itself

and it wasn’t about the rabbit

they were fine

doing their rabbit thing

but to go their way

was not getting me anywhere

but down rabbit holes

and stuck in cramped

houses

like a piece being moved around on a chess board

no purpose of her own

and then i saw

to the left

a looking glass

a nice one

reflecting the trees and the flowers and the bees and so I thought

i’d like to take a look at that

and i stepped closer and gazed into my own expression

and saw the words

“SSILB OT YAW SIHT”

reflecting deep inside the pupils of the eyes of

the mirror me

I lifted my hand to touch her

and

do I have to tell you?

the  looking glass turned into mist

and through I went

merging (e) into a reflection of myself

in a field of flowers and trees

fruitful harvest and dazzling light

no  rabbits

just a table

with a game board

displaying an array of options

“transcendental infinite bliss”

“cosmic infinite bliss”

“tantric infinite bliss”

“snacks and naps” and so on

and also

a pair of dice

(there has to be some restriction

in a finite poem like this, lest it go on forever)

and so i began to roll

and rock

and roll again

making a tour of the whole damn board and then back again

reveling not so much in the intermediate destinations

but in the freedom

to roll the dice

without those rabbits

don’t get me wrong

i love the cute and furry

but maybe, just maybe

well, I’m not going to tell you that

some times

the end of the story

is best found

by ones

self

© 2010 exitsbyalice


the beloved gasp

Ruth St. Denis as Radha

hey what is that tower
crashing over your head
anyway
a dream defined and dying
a love affair ending

or just the stock market
doing its stock market thing

you aren’t the same person
i knew yesterday
or today
or tomorrow

perhaps its the destruction
of a wall or two
dividing your heart and mind
or mine
or the destruction of an illusion
that can be replaced by a gift

i wonder whether you can hear me
through the ethers whispering your name
you always answer
are you there?

why is this love affair ending
has its purpose been fulfilled?
then why do I not feel finished
with you
incomplete

i want only more of you
forever
expanding together
in this infinite ocean
that is love
any devotee knows
the times of separation
allow us to know
the depth of our dependence
on love

the yogis waking up
alert, aware, present
maybe
or
maybe waking up means
FEELING
all that is possible to feel
or maybe the two are inseparable
like being in love
you smell every flower
and hear every bee.
the moon has a taste
it’s the only way to live

but fish don’t know they are swimming in the ocean
until perhaps they are taken out of the ocean
then all they want to do is get back in the ocean
gasping for air
i mean
gasping for ocean
i mean
gasping for love
is that devotion?

yes, i suppose so
a beloved gasp
don’t let this end
ever

© 2010 exitsbyalice


infinite oceans

padding lightly
across a landscape of shattered tea cups
and broken dreams
strewn across the inky void
emerging in the distance
an arc of light
love, infinite love
a wave crashing closer
a light burning brighter
across time and space
an embrace
collapsing into a great black hole
absorbing furniture
crumpled pieces of paper
and unfulfilled desires
lingering across the eons
vast vast vacuum

yama the lord of death comes
sitting on the edge of your bed
a profound teacher indeed
what do you ask him?
what’s it all about anyway?
was there a purpose to all this?
is it true that this body can be washed away
in the ocean of eternity, never to be seen again
and yet,
my deeds loving and unloving live on forever?

really?

my dear
he says
as the wall collapse
and the sun rises and falls
over our heads
as long as you believe
there is past present and future then
in fact what you said
will appear to be true

however
he continues
as the moonless night
creates a canopy
overhead
the moment you understand that
time itself is an ocean
there is no tomorrow
there is no yesterday
just as there is no front of the ocean
or the bottom of the ocean
just sandy shore
and sandy bottom
edges that imply
the existence of an infinite something

the question is, are you the sandy bottom
or are you the ocean?

this death is no ending
it is a new beginning
full of shining light and infinite love
you are not alone
you are never alone
the days of suffering are over
step into the world of the twice born
who know death and then
know how to live
swimming in the ocean
of infinity

© 2010 exitsbyalice